“Ok, let’s go over this again,” Jesus said,
sighing. “Tell me how the whole feeding
of the crowd went.”
“Well,” Peter said, looking at the
other disciples with some uncertainty, “there was this mob of people following
us and we wondered where we were going to find enough food to feed all these
people. And you must have been wondering
the same thing because you asked Phillip, ‘Where are we going to buy enough
food for these people to eat?’ So I can
see the look on Phillip’s face.’”
Peter
stopped and looked at Jesus for approval.
The rabbi had made it clear they had not gotten the story right several
times before.
“Go on.” Jesus said, nodding.
“Ok, we all saw Phillip’s face,
right? He was like, ‘Are you seriously
asking me to feed these people with what we have?’ Isn’t that what you were thinking, Phillip?”
Phillip looked quickly at Jesus. He didn’t want to get this wrong. “Umm, no, you know, because I have this idea
that Rabbi is going to come through and make it all happen. I’ve got no doubts that the Rabbi has this
covered. I just knew that we couldn’t do
it.”
“Why couldn’t you do it?”
Jesus screamed.
Phillip pulled back perplexed, almost
in tears. “We didn’t have the
money?! But seriously, I knew you
could do it.”
Jesus continued, “This is not about
feeding people one time. If you don’t
get this, you don’t get anything. God is
involved.”
He looked at them, hoping they could
understand. “Here is another
example. Remember when our people were
in the wilderness?”
They all shook their heads quickly,
eager to agree with their teacher.
“How were they fed?”
“Moses!” several of them said,
wanting to believe this was one of the certain answers, the givens.
“No!” Jesus thundered. “God provided that bread for our people. That was only temporary though. The bread spoiled. They knew the wilderness was temporary. We are in the wilderness now. We don’t know how long this wilderness will
last. We have no idea when this
wilderness will come to an end. We have
to figure out how to eat bread that lasts.
What I am trying to teach you is eternal. It’s long-lasting. It doesn’t spoil. If you believe in what I am doing and what I
am teaching you, we can do it again and again.
God endures. We will endure.”
He looked at them, so eager to want
to get things right, but oblivious to all his teaching. They had to get it right. Their survival depended on it.
Jesus tried again. “Ok.
Let’s compare the two situations we’ve had over the last few days. Today, the crowds came and how did it
start. What were the demands?”
Mary jumped in. “They wanted you to feed them. They were hungry again. They turned to you and said, ‘Feed us.’”
“Right!” Jesus said, and all of the
disciples breathed a sigh of relief.
“So what happened the day
before?” Jesus asked. “How did it start?”
Phillip lunged forward with the
answer, “You asked me how we are going to feed all these people.”
“After that,” Jesus said.
“I asked about how we were going to
purchase food for all these people,” Phillip responded.
“After that,” Jesus said, “that still
doesn’t feed anybody.”
They grew quiet.
 |
| Shravan K. Acharya |
Andrew whispered. “The boy.”
“What?” Jesus pointed at him.
Andrew cleared his throat. “There was a boy.”
“Right! Go on!”
Andrew continued. “This small boy had five loaves and two fish,
and he offered to share.”
“What was the boy’s name? Did anybody find that out?” Jesus asked.
Sheepishly, the disciples all threw up their hands. They didn’t know. “It might be good to find that out next
time. The boy should be remembered. Anyway, was that me that started the whole
thing?” Jesus asked, hoping that was
plain as day.
A smattering of “nos” and “yeses”
came from the disciples, still not sure of the answer he wanted.
“No!” Jesus said. “That was not me.”
The disciples looked at each other to
see if anyone else was picking up on this line of reasoning.
“So what happened next?”
Peter chimed in. “You had us tell the crowd to sit down. When we did that, we could see the crowd was
even larger than we had thought before.”
They all shook their heads.
“Then, you gave thanks to God for the barley loaves and fish and had us
distribute them.”
“What do you think I was trying to do
there? What was I trying to say to the
crowds, to all of us, even to me?”
He knew the question was much more
open-ended, but he hoped someone would come through.
Levi, the former tax collector,
spoke, “You were trying to say that we should always pray before we eat.”
“But why do we pray?” Jesus quickly asked.
“We pray to say that God is
involved.” Mary said.
“Exactly!” Jesus said. Another collective sigh of relief from the
disciples. “So reviewing, how did this
begin?” He pointed at Andrew.
“With a small boy.” Andrew stated.
“Yes, and tell me what the boy
did.” He pointed at Andrew.
“He shared his loaves and fish.”
“Yes!
And is God involved with this young boy?”
Again, Peter spoke, “Well, after YOU
said the prayer.”
“Not after I said the prayer. The prayer was confirming what we should
already know. Which is what?” He pointed at Mary.
“That God is involved.”
“How else was God involved? What did I have you do after I said the
prayer?”
“We distributed the loaves and the
fish to the people.” Andrew said.
“Right! We have identified two times when God was
involved. What were those two times?”
Andrew, on a roll, spoke more
confidently, “When the boy offered his bread and fish, and when we distributed
the bread and fish to the crowd.”
“Good,” Jesus said. Andrew smiled and looked around at the other
disciples thinking himself to be the good pupil. They did not return his smile.
“So,” the Rabbi continued, “what did
I do in that process?”
“YOU said the prayer!” Peter smiled, believing he had the next right
answer.
“Yes, yes, I said the prayer. Did I do anything else? Did I offer any bread or fish? Did I distribute any bread or fish? Did I collect any bread or fish?”
Phillip spoke, trying to defend
Jesus, “No, Rabbi, you weren’t involved in any of those things. But I know we all would agree that you
already do so much.”
Jesus rolled his eyes. “Ok, going back, what did you observe as you
distributed the bread and fish out into the crowd.”
“Do you mean, were people surprised
or grateful?” Mary asked.
John, who had been hanging at the
back of the group, stepped forward a little.
“Yeah, what I observed? It was
strange, you know? Because once we
started distributing the bread and the fish, other people opened up their
purses and sacks, and clothing, would break off some food for themselves and
their families, and then break off some to put in the baskets we were
carrying. Did anybody else see that?”
Three or four of the disciples
nodded. They had seen that.
“I saw that too, John.” Jesus responded. “Do you think God was involved in that?”
“Sure. I guess.
Why wouldn’t God be involved in that?
Is that what your prayer was trying to do?”
“Not really, John. My prayer was about what this boy was
doing. And what you did in knowing that
you were going to distribute the bread.
I wanted to say that God was involved.
And thank God for having always worked in this way. I also wanted you to remember that this is
how God has always been involved. That
some people in the crowd followed that lead, that is the Bread of Life. That endures. If we could teach people that God is in this
whole process, we would endure in this wilderness as God endures. Moses taught people the way that God provides
for them in the wilderness. But it was
God who provided. Not Moses. We are all afraid. We are not sure where our next barley loaf or
piece of fish might come from. But if we
do what we did yesterday, as a people, God will help us endure.”
Phillip spoke up. “Yes, but Rabbi, we believe you are greater
than Moses.”
“Shut up, Phillip.” Jesus snapped.
Red-faced and with tears streaming
down his face, Phillip took a step back.
“So what happened after we collected
up all the baskets and found them filled.
How did that happen?”
“I assume the baskets were filled
because people also shared what they had.” John said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Right!” Jesus said.
“Was that a miracle?”
The disciples were not sure. For many of them, this is not what they
thought of as a conventional miracle.
They all knew the crowds had seen this differently, and so had the
disciples before Jesus challenged them.
“The boy offered, we distributed, and
the crowd shared. With all the fear and
anxiety that exists in our time, this is the Bread of Life. Is that a miracle?”
Phillip thought he had the answer,
but did not dare respond.
“Rome showers bread at many of its
circuses to suggest that Caesar and Jupiter are gods. They are the ones who provide for you. That is their process. From on high, they seek to addict you to
their power and devour you.”
Jesus looked for understanding in their eyes but did
not see it. “Who truly provides for
you? What is the process of the one who
provides for you? Does this provider
care for humankind in a different way?”
He could tell they didn’t understand. He shook his head and said, “Think on these
things. They are important. Remember:
a boy who offered, you who distributed, a crowd that shared, and you who
collected. I was not involved. I just said this whole process, that’s the
way God is involved. That’s all I
did. And your baskets were full in the
end. How did the miracle happen?”
“The crowd came again today, full of hunger, looking
for me to feed them. Why didn’t I feed
them? Was the miracle in me or in them?”
“Regardless, Rabbi, you lead the way and are the
light to the path.” Mary said, trying to understand.
“That may be true, Mary, but what happened when we
collected the baskets and the crowds could see they were full? What was the crowd ready to do?”
“We heard cries about you being the prophet and the
Anointed One. They were ready to crown
you as king.” Mary said.
The disciples nodded. They had heard the same.
“But you left!” cried Phillip, “Why did you leave?”
“But Phillip,” Jesus said, exasperated, “what did I do?”
“YOU said the prayer,” Peter repeated.
“I said the prayer.”
Jesus looked at all of them, all of them waiting for him to tell them
the right answer. He shook his
head. “Let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long two days.” Amen.
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