Sermon, Transfiguration/Our Whole Lives Sunday, February 15, 2015

B Transfiguration/Our Whole Lives Sunday

Deuteronomy 11:18-21; I Corinthians 6:12, 19-20

February 15, 2015

(Ann Hanson and Kimberly Harris)

Ann Hanson~Retired, Minister of Sexuality Education and Justice, United Church of Christ 

Our Whole Lives Trainer and Facilitator (K-1, 4-6, 7-9, Young Adult and Adult) 

It will be twenty years ago this summer. I was finishing up a week-long program director’s experience at Camp Mimanagish.  It was the first time I had spent five days facilitating and teaching human sexuality education to a group of about 18 high school youth, or any group of any age, anywhere.  The campers were writing their evaluations.  One of the participants came to me and asked if she could talk.  "If only I had had this information four years ago, I may not have already made some bad decisions about my sexuality."

A little history about the United Church of Christ’s involvement in the ministry of human sexuality education: 

The United Church of Christ, in response to the actions of General Synod and to the needs expressed by members of United Church of Christ congregations in surveys and personal stories, has (for well over three decades) encouraged churches to study human sexuality and has published, along with our UUA partners, comprehensive life-span sexuality resources (Our Whole Lives – Sexuality and Our Faith) that brings the ministry of sexuality education to United Church of Christ members (and others) of all ages.  

Our Whole Lives is a resource that is used in both faith and secular settings throughout the country. It is deeply embedded with values, but does not contain references to any particular faith. When Our Whole Lives is used in a faith community, another resources – Sexuality and Our Faith – is added so that participants can merge their understanding of faith and spirituality with sexuality. 

We live in a world that is deeply conflicted about human sexuality.  Many of our parents and grandparents continue to be reluctant to address issues of sexuality with their children and grandchildren. And, many of us may have a deep-seeded fear of talking about sexuality with anyone! Some people quake at the fear of their child being sexual (which is funny because they are born sexual) and want to postpone sexuality education as long as possible.  What Our Whole Lives facilitators tell parents is that their children, at earlier and earlier ages,  are being educated:  daily images and messages they receive (from the internet, advertising, TV, movies, magazine, books and friends) influence how they see themselves and how they relate to others as human beings in the fullest sense. Silence about sexuality in the home is a lesson. A child learns that “It’s not okay to talk about here.”  

We encourage parents of young children to start sexuality education early. Do not wait for children, pre-teens or teens to ask a question! One of my dear friends came to me one day and said she was still waiting for her son to ask her questions about sex. “Remind me, how old is your son?” “Thirty-five. I guess I’ve waited too long.”

The use of Our Whole Lives—Sexuality and Our Faith, gives all people a profound opportunity to grow in their faith and put their values into practice.  These resources seek to nurture religious community and provide avenues for spiritual growth, prophetic visions and action for justice. They promote the worth and dignity of every participant and are grounded in and intentionally expressive of our faith and faith tradition. Yes, sexuality education is a ministry. It is a ministry of meeting people of all ages where they are and leading them to where God wants them to be.

While many are leaving sexuality education up to the media, we, In the UCC, are providing a sexuality education ministry that is life-affirming and life-saving. Yes, Our Whole Lives provides an antidote to a culture that is saturated with mixed messages and misinformation about sexuality.   

Rev. James B. Nelson, in his book, Between Two Gardens, (pg.9) writes, “The movement toward a more healed, wholistic spirituality and the movement toward a more healed, wholistic sexuality cannot be separated.  It is not just that they ought not to be separated, quite literally they cannot be.  One is necessary to the other. They are inseparable elements of full personhood.” 

“The links between sexuality and spirituality are profound…the journey of discovery is a promising one for those who believe that the Word is still made flesh in order that we might have life and have it more abundantly." (pg. 15)

We become fully embodied when there is no separation between spirituality and sexuality. 

The building blocks, the values of Our Whole Lives emphasize and underscore the values of love, mutuality, self-worth, health, responsibility, justice and inclusivity.  Again, incorporating Sexuality and Our Faith into the Our Whole Lives program, children youth, young adults and older adults become accustomed to thinking of sexuality and spirituality as inseparable. Using these values, Our Whole lives help parents in their role as the primary sexuality educators of their children and create partnerships between families and the church through parent orientation and parent education programs. 

My experience in the mountains is related to Transfiguration Sunday. My good friend, Rev. Kate Huey, writing in the UCC’s Sermon Seeds reminds us that Mountaintop experiences are part of the life of faith.  "There are times when we feel lifted up, taken to a place a little closer to God and God's glory.  There are times when we feel we are hearing God speaking to us, telling us things, giving us direction, comfort, joy.  These times, alas, do not come often, no matter how much we long for them. We live our lives mostly down here on the ground, unaware of the wondrous, transformative power of God at work in the world, especially in the life of the church.”  

Our Whole Lives – Sexuality and Our Faith helps bring our ‘mountain top’ experiences with us as we live and work and love on the ‘ground.’ 

As I’ve continued my ministry of sexuality education over the past twenty years, after I’ve facilitated and trained, presented and lobbied, been with hundreds of humans of all ages in numerous settings, I believe now, more than ever before that offering comprehensive, age-appropriate sexuality education is one of the best gifts we will ever give our young children, youth and adults. It gives everyone the tools to be co-creators with God as we experience transformation in ourselves, in our church and in the world.  

Kimberly Harris

Youth and Young Adult Minister, Billings First Church

I was blessed enough to be a senior high camper at that camp that Ann referred to and to this day out of 10 years of camps that I attended as a youth camper that is the only one for which I remember the program theme.  And the one that my group of camp friends and I still talk about.  I remember being at that camp and being alarmed and nervous about the program when the theme of sexuality and self-love was presented to us.  I remember blushing and looking around the room at my friends.  And coming from the conservative Congregational church and upbringing that I came from that meeting thinking, “Was it ok for us to talk about sex in the setting of ‘church’ camp?” and yet interested and intrigued all the same time.

Ann and Ronda soon made us all feel comfortable at the sexuality education levels that we were all, individually, at, and helped put the fears aside.  And made it ok to talk about sexuality.

In fact, it was quite the opposite.  After that first evening of program, we quickly realized that we were in the perfect setting to be learning and discussing this topic.  We don’t remember the camp because it was wrong or horrible to talk about the subject of sex and loving one’s self, but because it gave us a safe place to learn and talk about a subject that most of us were not talking about at home or didn’t feel like we had safe adults to talk about it.  It gave us not only the safe space, but the perfect adults to talk to with accurate and correct information.  And it also gave us the comfort of our peers and life-long friends to explore this topic through discussion and questions.

No matter what age group we are teaching, K-2, 4-6, 7-9, or 10-12, the classes always start with a parent orientation session.  One of the exercises at that orientation is to ask the parents what kind of sexuality education they received growing up and if it was something their parents talked to them about and how they wanted their children’s sexuality education to be different.

I often tell the story about my sex talk with my parents.  My dad never uttered the word around us let alone talked about the subject in detail, and the extent of my conversations with my mom involved one evening I was sitting up sick with her.  And we were both sitting in the dark, and I’m not even sure of what we were talking about leading up to the questions.  But she, at one point, asked, “You know you wait until marriage, right?”  And I simply replied, “Yes.” And that was that! 

And until odd enough a couple of years ago I went through secondary Our Whole Lives (OWL) facilitator training with my mother and sister we never uttered a word about the topic.  Now let me tell you.  Nothing will get you more comfortable teaching about human sexuality like having to teach a class that includes your mother and sharing how to put on a condom with your sister as your teaching partner. 

I am often asked about the youth ministry I do in the churches and with the conference and why OWL, and I always answer the same way.  If Our Whole Lives was the only thing I did as my ministry, I would be ahead of the game.  And we, as a church family, would be giving a life-long gift to our children, youth, and families. 

In the last seven year, between our two UCC churches and the Unitarian Church in Billings, we have provided, Our Whole Lives classes to over 125 youth K-12 grade.  We have provided our families and children with a safe place to explore education around human sexuality.  And we identify adults that are safe for our youth to ask questions of.  This has also allowed families to strengthen their relationships. 

Just like faith formation starts at home, the most important faith formation leaders in our children’s lives should be and will be the parents and families.  OWL does a great job with the expectation that the parents and families should and will be the most important sexuality educators. 

Our own Norsworthy family is one of our more active families in the OWL program.  I asked Jase and Karen to share a little testimony with us on what OWL has meant to their family.  Here is what they had to say.

All three of the Norsworthy kids have gone through the OWL program.  Owen’s been through the program as a 5^th and 7^th grader, and he’ll go through again at some point during high school.  Charlie went through as a 5^th grader and Addison, who was 6, has been through the younger kid program.  Both of them . . . we intend to take the older classes as they reach them.

When OWL began, we were admittedly a bit apprehensive about exposing Owen to any sort of detail as it related to sex.  Was knowledge somehow a green light? Were we somehow endorsing sex through open sexual education?  The answer has been:  Absolutely not!  T

The OWL program, while direct in many ways, helps kids peel away the layers of misinformation and learn the truth at an age appropriate level, but it’s true definition is so much more!

“O” is for outstanding, on-going, open-minded, and opportunity.  “W” is for without prejudice, wide-reaching, wholehearted.  And “L” is for lasting, learning, and lines of communication. 

For all of our concerns, when Owen started the OWL program, he is now way more rounded when it comes to sexual education than most young adults are.  I would argue, in fact, that Owen is better educated than any other kid his age in high school.  And he’s responsible about it.  OWL has opened up his communication, and it has enabled us, as parents, to talk about sex in a non-threatening way.  Where we might have otherwise been ostriches with our heads in the sand, we now have an open line of communication.  It’s been good for our relationship because we can talk about it with him.  Even with our younger two, the topic is not taboo.  We were afraid it would open up a can of worms, but instead, it has opened a door that otherwise would have been a real challenge. 

We are thankful OWL has presented our children with factual, correct, and appropriate information.  We are thankful that OWL is Christian-based, teaching that, above all, our bodies and ourselves are a gift from God and should be respected, appreciated, and loved.    We are thankful that we have been asked questions by our children that we never would have had the courage to ask growing up.  And I am thankful that we have been able to answer those questions, honestly, openly, and factually.  We are thankful to the trained teachers of the OWL program for creating a trusting, safe, and open environment for the children and families in the program. 

This is just one of many testimonies I hear from families.  One of the things I love about the OWL program is the holistic approach it takes to sexuality and the life-long skills it provides, including providing the youth with the tools to identify and participate in healthy relationships—not only romantically, but also with friendship and family units. 

The other theme that I love that runs through all age groups, like Jase and Karen stated, is the importance of good communication skills.  OWL provides the youth with the ability to make smart, healthy decisions that are right for them, but also gives them the tools to use if they are ever in the situation that a not so right decision was made.  It helps them work through the consequences of that wrong decision and also gives them the trusted adults that they can turn to—including their families. 

I have had more than one youth, now young adult, tell me that it has amazed them how many times the voices of their OWL facilitators pop into their head when faced with a not so healthy situation.  I love seeing the “Aha!” moments on the children’s faces when they learn something new or something from the class sings in. 

Like Ann stated, “There are so many negative images and messages our youth have to deal with in today’s society, including television, music, and the internet.  That, in a way, we have become immune to those messages. 

One of mine and the Jr. High and High Schooler’s favorite activities is one of the very first workshops of the class.  They are broken into small groups and given sheets of paper with a medically correct term written at the top where the teams are asked to list any and every slang term they know for the word.  As the activity continues, all groups will eventually have the words for female and male anatomy, including penis and vagina.  And after all groups share their lists of slang terms it then turns into a discussion about how most slang for male anatomy is uplifting and boastful about manhood, and yet most of the slang terms for the female anatomy are shaming and derogatory towards women. 

They also have the kids try and list slang terms for other anatomical parts like knee.  And that’s when you see the light bulb go on.  When they can’t name any slang terms for those body parts or when they can only name one or two slang terms for heterosexuality . . . and then when given the word “homosexuality”, the kids can’t even bear to write any of the slang terms down, let alone say them out loud because they are so hurtful and derogatory.  And the discussion revolving around they that is, is so amazing and affirming of again why everyone should have the opportunity to go through this program. 

We have been so blessed here in Billings that our youth, and hopefully in the not so far future our young adults and adults, have had and will continue to have this opportunity to engage.  As the Youth Director of the Montana-Northern Wyoming Conference of the UCC, it breaks my heart to talk with the other churches and youth around the State and realize how much they could benefit from this program as well if it were offered.

I have often wished I could clone myself to go teach a course at Red Lodge or Colstrip or Great Falls.  It breaks my heart that I have seen so many youth grow up and not be able to benefit from this program when I know how much it would have helped them.  It also breaks my heart and infuriates me when the youth tell me about the sexuality or lack of sexuality education they receive in school.

It has been my long-time hope and goal that we could have OWL in not only all of our Montana-Northern Wyoming Conference UCC churches, but also offer it to the wider Billings community.  And, who knows, maybe someday even other Montana communities. 

We are slowly taking steps towards that.  And how amazing would it be if this church was on the forefront of this movement?

We are planning on hosting a Conference-wide 10,11,12 grade Our Whole Lives this spring that we are hoping will catch all the other active conference youth and campers that have not yet gone through the program. 

Ann and I, along with two colleagues from the Unitarian Church, will be holding an OWL facilitator training for elementary and secondary age groups the first weekend in May in Bozeman, Montana.  I encourage of any of you that feel a call towards this most important ministry to chat with me about how we can get you to this training.  The more facilitators and teachers we have the more youth will benefit from this program. 

Our Young Adults Camp this year will have Our Whole Lives for the program as well and we are looking into faith formation for young adults next program year.

I’m also exploring ways to hold classes hear at the church for various community groups from Billings.  I have upcoming meetings with executives from Family Promise and the Womens’ and Families’ Shelter to see what our opportunities there might be. 

I would also love to chat with anyone that has other ideas on how to more broadly get OWL into the community.  This truly is one of the most important ministries our church can be a part of, and I hope that you are all able to share this vision with me and the other staff.

"Actively" Church

I shared with my good friend and colleague, Christopher Grundy, that I believe the United Church of Christ needs to develop designations that help us move out of our "achievement" statuses.  I have become disillusioned and disappointed by the number of UCC congregations that are "Open and Affirming" or "Just Peace" and yet do not use those statements as "North Stars" for further action.

Sometimes I see those statements as all too often achievements by a solitary individual or small group in a local church that finally carried the day to get their church designated as "Open and Affirming" or "Just

Peace."  The local church then proudly posts these designations on their website, on their blog, and or in their bulletin without any reference to how it continues to embody these designations.  As in many institutional

settings, the description of a church becomes a noun (who they think they are) rather than a verb (what they do).  I am not saying that happens in every local church, but I am amazed by the number of local churches who become "Open and Affirming" never to revisit their growth and development with that identity or designation.

I would love to see the United Church of Christ continue to develop these designations as a rolling horizon, recognizing that we need to continue to grow and develop to be fully "Open and Affirming" and "Just Peace."  So, throughout the year, what has your church done to be considered "Just Peace" or "Open and Affirming?"  These rolling horizon designations

would be about a dialog between grass roots local churches and the national church.  Local churches would share some creative idea they employed and the national church would add it to the list for all other churches to learn by, recognize within their own work, and take hope from.

For example, we could use a model begun in the

Young Christian Workers Movement and advanced in Latin American base communities--see, judge (as to discern), and act.  out of see, judge (as to discern), act.  Celebration was later added to the process as people realized that the process left them with little energy to begin again.  

This is oversimplifying a process that can encourage deep systemic analysis, but here goes.  See:  (Open and Affirming) We could ask and answer how congregations might have engaged issues or communities surrounding the issue of the inclusion of the LGBTQ community.  (Just Peace)  We could ask and answer how congregations have lifted specific concerns about racial justice, violence, or building peace in their communities.  Discern:  We could ask what educational or immersion experiences congregations have used to further understanding of themselves and people not like themselves.  Act:  We could ask what their educational or immersion experiences led them to do in advocacy, pilgrimage, practice, mission, or evangelism (including others in their work or building the movement) Celebration:  We could ask how congregations celebrated the work they did over the course of the year or how they lifted up their identity in joyous proclamation.

Congregations would have to complete each one of these headings to be considered "actively" Open and Affirming or "actively" Just Peace.  The purpose is not to create a litmus test but to get congregations intentionally reflecting on their work, mission, and ministry.  In reflecting publicly, their information creates ideas for others, builds a feeling that a movement is afoot, and gives hope that we are not alone.

I also believe such reflection would make us more articulate as a denomination.  Let me give you an example.  Rev. Michael Neuroth is the UCC Policy

Advocate for International Issues.  He recently wrote a piece titled, "The True Cost of Drone Warfare."  In that piece he did an excellent job of helping us all discern further what it means to be a Just Peace institution/movement by spelling out some of its characteristics:

• Commits itself to working for systemic justice
• Commits itself to deepening friendships and covenants with all God's children
• Commits itself to claiming God's shalom for all
• Holding to the prophetic promise that "peace is possible"

Conversely, what is not Just Peace has these characteristics:

• Dims our hope and imagination for peace
• Blurs lines between civilian and combatant
• Distorts covenants between nations and peoples
• Pushes our nation to a constant state of war

I might look at the "opposites" of what is not Just Peace to offer what is:

• Just Peace lights the way for our hope and imagination toward peace.
• Just Peace seeks out ways to affirm our humanity even in the presence of war.
• Just Peace builds community, coalitions, and keeps covenant that furthers the welfare of people beyond our own races, ethnicities, and nations.
• Just Peace builds systems and infrastructure to make peace sustainable and resilient and undercut the arrogance and appetite for violence and warfare.

I know that Rev. Neuroth uses language from General Synod Resolutions, but he also cogently argues in a way that helps all of us better understand what it means to be Just Peace.  In so doing, I naturally compare and contrast my congregation to the criteria he puts forward.  I become much more articulate for helping my congregation discern how they shall be more Just Peace.  

So what about that idea?  What about deciding how we might become "Actively" Open and Affirming or "Actively" Just Peace using the base community process.  I would love to read the final step of the process--celebration.  How do other congregations actively celebrate their identity and work in way that gives them energy for starting the process all over again?  

I know there is much creativity out their in local congregations.  I would love to see how they sing, dance, and get goofy over their work and identity.  I believe that sharing would give my imagination flight and return the favor in some creative way.  

On the Morality of Homosexual Marriage

Ben Dreyfuss, in a wonderful Mother Jones article, relates some of the judicial opinion of federal judge Richard Posner, who just struck down gay marriage bans in Wisconsin and Indiana.  Dreyfuss selects some wonderful quotes from the Posner's opinion.  Posner proceeds to logically and pedantically poke holes in the naivete of different gender marriage morality.  

What he does is reveal the fact that not all of our different gender marriages and pregnancies are the result of romantic, pure-as-the-driven snow rationale.  Indiana argued that the ban against gay marriage should remain intact because gay people cannot have children.  In fact, Posner reasons, it might be argued that any homosexual couple that wants to be parents might be considered the model because they just cannot get drunk and pregnant.  See what Posner did there?  He deflated this beautiful mythology about how all different gendered couples should get the reward of marriage because their biology allows them to, at times, make stupid decisions.  Same gendered couples do not get to make those stupid mistakes, do not end up with unwanted pregnancies, and so they get penalized?

It is a brilliant piece of writing by Posner, recognizing that so much of these arguments are tied up in idyllic and romantic ideologies that have no basis in reality.  

The last passage Dreyfuss quotes is Posner arguing against the contention that the LGBTQ community is politically powerful in a way that is far stronger than the numbers.  Isn't that the real fear we hear in so many arguments from a fear-based mythology?  They will become too many in number and overrun us?  The minority will carry the day!  We cannot let the gathering hordes destroy us!  Rome will fall.  As some of the best political writers do, Posner shows incredible faith in the democratic process by basically telling the fear mongers to settle down and recognize that they may be on the wrong side of history.

Here are the passages Dreyfuss quotes.  Enjoy.

Our pair of cases is rich in detail but ultimately straight-forward to decide. The challenged laws discriminate against a minority defined by an immutable characteristic, and the only rationale that the states put forth with any conviction—that same-sex couples and their children don't need marriage because same-sex couples can't produce children, intended or unintended—is so full of holes that it cannot be taken seriously. 

At oral argument the state‘s lawyer was asked whether "Indiana's law is about successfully raising children," and since "you agree same-sex couples can successfully raise children, why shouldn't the ban be lifted as to them?" The lawyer answered that "the assumption is that with opposite-sex couples there is very little thought given during the sexual act, sometimes, to whether babies may be a consequence." In other words, Indiana's government thinks that straight couples tend to be sexually irresponsible, producing unwanted children by the carload, and so must be pressured (in the form of governmental encouragement of marriage through a combination of sticks and carrots) to marry, but that gay couples, unable as they are to produce children wanted or unwanted, are model parents—model citizens really—so have no need for marriage. Heterosexuals get drunk and pregnant, producing unwanted children; their reward is to be allowed to marry. Homosexual couples do not produce unwanted children; their reward is to be denied the right to marry. Go figure.   

No evidence is presented by the state to support this contention [that homosexuals are politically powerful beyond their numbers]. It is true that an increasing number of heterosexuals support same-sex marriage; otherwise 11 states would not have changed their laws to permit such marriage (the other 8 states that allow same-sex marriage do so as a result of judicial decisions invalidating the states' bans). No inference of manipulation of the democratic process by homosexuals can be drawn, however, any more than it could be inferred from the enactment of civil rights laws that African-Americans "are politically powerful out of proportion to their numbers." It is to the credit of American voters that they do not support only laws that are in their palpable self-interest. They support laws punishing cruelty to animals, even though not a single animal has a vote.