C
Proper 13 18 Ord BFC 2016
Hosea
11:1-11
July
31, 2016
Language carries culture. I believe language not only carries culture,
it shapes our perception, our attitudes and understandings of who we are and
who we are in relationship to the world.
Our communal worship is a time when we say that we are practicing,
practicing our courage for life in the real world—a world that may look nothing
like the way that God wants or wills it.
So often, worship, by its very nature, should be countercultural. The world says this and repeats this
message. In worship, we say this and
repeat this message. Because we do not
want the world’s message to get into your bloodstream and define you. Every week I share a “Statement of God’s Love”
because I believe the world tells you, over and over again, that you are too
fat or too skinny, don’t work hard enough or work too much. Land O Goshen, you may even have
dandruff. And I want you to hear God
responding by saying, “Who cares?
Love. I love you. You’re good.”
And God says, “Let’s go transform the world together.” The language we use in worship shapes our
perceptions, our attitudes and understandings of who we are and who we are in
relationship to God, our neighbor, and the earth.
When I was a small child, attending Christian Union
Church in Metamora, a rural or town church that was a bedroom community for
Peoria, Illinois, and Caterpillar, my pastor would say, just before he handed
off the communion bread and grape juice to the communion stewards, “And he gave
it to his disciples . . .” He did it,
I’m sure, to create the feeling that as this ritual was practiced then so we
practice it now. As with all good
ritual, my pastor sought to collapse the past and the future into the present
so that we believed we were doing something of eternal value.
But in doing that, for a long time, my belief was
that those people who took the bread and the grape juice out to the
congregation were indeed the disciples.
I remember being a little perplexed that none of their first names, some
of which I knew, did not correspond with the disciples’ names in the Bible. It was a spiritual question that vexed me for
the longest time. I know, my brain works
in strange ways! It was a reminder that
how we name things in worship matters.
How we name things is important, the language we use
in sacred space can convey deep meaning or confusion or pain or growth. And we need to re-negotiate what we name
things. We need to be intentional about
the language we use so that we continue to seek deep meaning and growth for
ourselves. Because if we are using the
same words in faith for ourselves, for God, for our faith, that we used as a
child, how do we communicate that we have grown in faith as we get older? How do we say, in our naming, that our faith
matures, and that we are still willing and open to growth?
When I first arrived as Senior Minister of this
church a little under two years ago, I officiated at a number of weddings for
gay and lesbian couples. Officiated is a
strange word for what a pastor does at a marriage or funeral, isn’t it? Kind of like, “Personal foul, allowing the
groom’s mother to pick the wedding dress.
15 yards, automatic, first down!”
That’s the kind of thing that runs through my goofy head. And words especially matter in these weddings
because the world has some incredibly wicked things to say to lesbian and gay individuals and couples. At one of the most critical times in their lives, when self-esteem can be at its absolute lowest, our world too often says that hay and lesbian people are "less than" and that their love is not valid. So what I say in that space take on an even greater significance.
Anyway, I assume I was being asked to officiate because a number of these couples were afraid that the window might close on their ability to have their relationship recognized. Again, that worldly message. Marriage is tough as it is, now we throw in toxic messages?
The only things I try to require of any couples seeking to be married is that they go through some intensive pre-marital counseling with me. Having been through a divorce myself, how it created such pain for me and my two boys, I want to give these couples the very best chance to have a healthy and growing relationship.
Anyway, I assume I was being asked to officiate because a number of these couples were afraid that the window might close on their ability to have their relationship recognized. Again, that worldly message. Marriage is tough as it is, now we throw in toxic messages?
The only things I try to require of any couples seeking to be married is that they go through some intensive pre-marital counseling with me. Having been through a divorce myself, how it created such pain for me and my two boys, I want to give these couples the very best chance to have a healthy and growing relationship.
One of the things I try to relate to couples in
pre-marital counseling, in whatever imperfect way, is that re-negotiating their
relationship will not be a sign of their weakness as a couple, but a sign of
their strength. Over and over again,
they will have to define what love and loyalty mean for them individually and
as a couple. Sometimes that will mean
standing up for themselves. Sometimes
that will mean standing up for the relationship. Sometimes it will mean saying, “You promised
me” or “We promised each other” or helping the other person recognize that a
different life situation or circumstance does not convey a lack of love or
loyalty.
Rabbi Sharon Brous, a vibrant faith leader from Los
Angeles, believes that the Jewish High Holy Days can be defined as a
renegotiated marriage. She talks about
such a strong will for relationship that we are willing to challenge God by
saying, “God, I did my work this year, but where are you? How could you let the world look the way it
does?” But we also know we are
challenged by similar covenant questions, “Where have I not been the human
being I need to be in the world? And
where have I let myself down and let other people down, and let God down?”[1] Rabbi Brous believes that God wills, wants
with all God’s heart, a fierce, passionate, accountable, and covenantal
relationship with us.
Rabbi Brous’ understanding of the Jewish High Holy
Days is confirmed by Scripture. Many of
the Jewish prophets understood the relationship between God and Israel as a
marriage covenant. The prophet Hosea even
believes that God commands him to marry a prostitute so that Hosea may come to
understand the pain, agony, and brokenness God feels. The whole nation has broken covenant. We go out chasing the things that are not of
God, not bargained for, not promised, and God cries out wanting something much,
much more.
God as marriage partner—how we envision God, how we
name God, how we picture God in our mind’s eye matters. For how we name God and picture God often
dictates how we move and act in the world.
I believe that so strongly. I believe that so strongly that one of the
first things I do as a spiritual director is to have a person state how they
name God and then help them see how that naming dictates the rest of their
understanding and action. “Words are
one of the primary ways by which we connect with one another. We are affected both consciously and
unconsciously by the words we use.”[2] Naming conveys meaning and relationship.
Never was that so true for me when I planned for and
officiated at the wedding of my brother and sister-in-law. At some points in my life, my brother, Andy,
has been my best friend. He is one of
the people I respect and love most in the universe. So it was an honor when my brother and his
betrothed asked me to officiate their wedding service.
In planning every wedding, I always ask the couple,
“How would you like me to refer to you during the service? Would you like your full name, your first
full name, or a nickname?” My brother,
who everyone else calls, “Andy,” said, “Andrew.”
“Andrew,” my soon to be sister-in-law inquired,
“nobody I know calls you Andrew, who calls you Andrew?”
Without
hesitation, my brother said, “Mike does.”
I am the only one who calls him Andrew, and that’s how he wanted to be
named in the wedding service. In two words, my brother conveyed his
relationship and the nature of that relationship with me—how strong it was for
him. You cannot imagine what it meant to
me that one of the people I feel closest to in the universe, conveyed with one
word, what I mean to him—to know that the power and strength of our
relationship was mutual. I could have
run through a brick wall.
In naming and in language, we not only indicate our
relationship but also indicate an intention and direction for our lives.
So it is in our relationship with God. If we are to be led out in growth and life
with God, we need to name God in a way that will challenge us to grow and
recognize the necessary re-negotiation we must do in our covenantal
relationship with God. The prophet Hosea
talks about a God who leads us with cords of human kindness, with bands of
love, helping the child to walk. “I was
to them,” God says, “as one who lifts them to my cheeks. I bent down,” one Hebrew translation states,
“and fed them with my breast.”
In a world, in a culture that so often calls God,
“He,” what do you call a God who does those kind of things? Mother?
Nursemaid? There it is, right
there in the Bible. A God who says that
even though the love and loyalty, the covenant has been broken, God cannot give
up on the people. Though the penalty for
a disobedient son is stoning, God’s compassion grows warm and tender.
How we name God matters, and if we have only male
images and names for God, then our language can lead to our action, our next
steps, our direction.
So today I would like you all to think of a name for
God that gives you comfort, and in a moment I am going to ask you to share that
with your neighbors around you. Maybe
your name is “Everlasting Father”, “Creator”, or “Breath of Life.” It’s a name that makes you feel at home with
God and perhaps reminds you of some moment in your past when you knew God to be
present. I want you to share a name for
God and a sentence about why that name is special to you with your neighbor.
But then I would like you to share a name for God
that challenges you, and perhaps, a name that you recognize as necessary for
your growth. Almost all spiritual
awakening happens through dis-ease, discomfort, or pain which moves us off our
center to imagine a God who is far broader or more deep than what we could have
imagined. Like the prophet Hosea, God is
unexpectedly more graceful than we could have imagined, full of compassion,
warm and tender. Maybe that name for God
is “Mother of Mercies,” “God of Our Struggle,” “Parent of the Poor,” or
“Suffering God.”
You may be surprised to learn that my name for the
God who I know and have learned to know is “Underground Stream.” It reminds me that God works from below and
is continually flowing with life and love into the world. The name for God which causes me discomfort
or pain is “Inner Peace” because I do not experience much inner peace in my
life. But at the same time, that name
leads me out and pushes me beyond myself, encourages my necessary growth, in
some strange way. I am also working real
hard to incorporate the name, “Maker of All Things” into my prayer life because
that is the name the Crow people use for a God who is connected to them and a
source of power for them and all of creation.
It is a prayer to God I have that the Crow people might know me to be
safe and seeking strong relationship with them.
We know that any image of God is incomplete. But as I alluded to earlier, we should not be
stuck with an image of God we held at 5 that we now take as our image at 25 or
85. For our images should grow and
evolve with our experiences. The
development of positive, life-giving images that sometimes challenge us is
vital as we grow into a mature faith.[3]
So now I turn to you. Your name does not have to be original or
special. It just has to be yours. Share with your neighbors around you the name
for God that brings you comfort, is what you use when you pray, or is the image
that comes from your heart. Share a
sentence for why that image is important to you.
And also, share an image for God that gives you
pause and challenges you, that you wish you were more like. Share a sentence for why that image may be a
growing edge for you. Let’s take a
moment of silence where we all might reflect on what those names are and then
begin sharing. I’ll time it. Let’s take a minute for reflection and I’ll
make Steve promise he won’t play “Jeopardy Theme Music” during that time.
Take time to share with your neighbors now.
If Hosea is right, our relationship with God is a
covenantal relationship, like marriage, that must be forever
re-negotiated. Much like marriage
partners, if we are to grow, we must learn what loyalty and love mean each day,
each week, and each year in our relationship with God. Whether we call God “The Dreamer of Dreams,”
“The Gentle Friend,” or “Our Host at Table”, what we name God defines our
relationship with God and, ultimately, defines who we are. May we forever pray, worship, and live into a
faith that offers us both grace, comfort, and growth so that our love for God
and neighbor continues to expand our minds and enlarge our hearts. Amen.
[1] “Interview with Rabbi
Sharon Brous,” Speaking of Faith, Krista Tippett, Host, http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2008/daysofawe/transcript.shtml
[2]
Janet Schaffran and
Pat Kozak, More Than Words: Prayer and Ritual for Inclusive Communities (New
York: Crossroads Publishing Company,
1986), p. 4.
[3]
Ibid, pp. 12-13.
